~Last week I had an experience I havent probably had since maybe Junior High or High School. I had been out and about running errands and feeling pretty good about the day. While I had showered before I left and threw on some make-up, I was feeling a little lazy with my new growing hair so I threw on a cute hat and a sundress and headed out the door. While I was out, one of my stops was meeting with a bunch of Women to discuss some ministry opportuities for the following year. When I walked in the door I immediately noticed two totally beautiful girls around my age, dressed to the nines no less with their perfectly manicured nails and perfect hair.....and for the first time in like forever I felt like a turtle that wanted to go back into her shell. Immediatley I though to myself."dangit, I should have done my hair today"! My countenance shrunk to about the size of a mouse. Holy smokes, I don't have any idea what came over me in that moment, but it was such a crappy feeeling and it was as if the devil was whispering to me "Jeanette, you are not pretty enough, you are not thin enough and you will never measure up to the calibur of those beauties you see over there". Well shoot, what am I..like 12? I felt guilty for even having an ounce of jealousy towards these gals, but it was like all of the sudden I was confronted with my own insecurities. Honestly though, until that moment I hadnt really realized I struggled with too many. Not that I am never insecure about myself, but its just not something that I really deal with on a regular basis. I am fortunate to be a rather confident and secure person and while there are things I would like to improve about myself, I just dont typically judge myself against other women..I really am OK with who I am and I think its becase I find my security in the Lord. Honestly, the brief interactionwith those gals truly did put sort of a damper on my day and I began to rip myself apart...totally lame. Its not like those girls could help being who they were ( and wonderful Christians nontheless) and having a beautiful outward appearance. I just needed to get a grip, which by the end of the day, I totally did and I got over it. I'm not even really sure why I chose to write about it, but I guess I wanted to remember it because Satan is a sneaky little fella, he gets in our heads and makes us feel "less than"when the Lord sees us as "Stinkin awesome"!! We are HIS creation, he made each one of us unique and special and exactly how he wanted us to be and quite honestly, that's something to get excited about!!
~" I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions, and to overcome all the power of the enemy!" Luke 10:19
Oh Jeanette! You are an amazing person, inside AND out. Not only are you gorgeous, your personality matches your looks. Truth be told, I always feel like how you felt on this occasion around you because you always look so classy and have it all together, makeup, cute accessories, etc. I think we are the first people to put ourselves down when it's really all in our head. Even the prettiest people have days where they feel like this and don't look amazing. Check out celebrities without makeup next time you are feeling this way and you will feel amazing afterward :)
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